por Viviane Gago
Em virtude dos meus estudos no tema constelação familiar, resolvi por bem compartilhar alguns aprendizados, de maneira a contribuir para o entendimento das pessoas relativamente ao contexto familiar e suas implicações na vida de qualquer pessoa comum.
Acredito que está série de textos a respeito dos papéis que, nós, indivíduos temos, em nossas respectivas famílias os auxiliará a compreender questões e formar reflexões importantes que ajudarão a trazer leveza para suas vidas, pelo menos é o que espero.
Assim, iniciarei esta série de artigos pelo tema, irmãos.
Pensemos primeiramente em nossos pais, estejam eles vivos ou não, no histórico familiar de ambos, a ordem e hierarquia dos irmãos deles nos respectivos sistemas de cada um.
Tenhamos consciência de que a ordem e hierarquia de irmãos no sistema familiar de nossos pais, influenciam e tem relevância no relacionamento dos mesmos e no relacionamento dos filhos que advierem deles.
Saibamos que o relacionamento de pais e filhos constitui-se em uma comunidade de destino.
Os filhos vêm de um pai e de uma mãe em comum (ou um deles em comum), porém em algum ponto de origem, seja ou no pai ou na mãe ou em ambos, compartilham da mesma história familiar.
Por meio desta comunidade que partilha de um destino comum, um filho depende do outro de muitas maneiras e, na medida de suas possibilidades, precisa cooperar para o bem comum; e cada um simultaneamente dá e recebe.
No laço entre irmãos há sempre uma ordem a ser respeitada. Há o que chegou antes, e existe os que vieram depois.
Lembremos que mesmo no nascimento de gêmeos, um deles tem a precedência.
Esta ordem é primordial ser olhada e respeitada entre irmãos na sua convivência.
Também olhemos para os irmãos que não nasceram ou os que nasceram e morreram; todos estes fazem parte da ordem familiar e têm o seu lugar por pertencimento.
Dessa forma, podemos ter uma imagem completa desta comunidade de pessoas, unidas pela sua origem e que realizam um grande trabalho; qual seja o de caminhar, juntos ou separados, por uma jornada de vida.
Quanto aos irmãos e a dinâmica entre o dar e o receber: “Quem vem primeiro, deve dar mais, porque também recebeu mais. Entretanto, também este, quando já tiver recebido bastante, dará aos que vierem depois. Assim, dando e tomando, todos se sujeitam à mesma ordem e seguem a mesma lei.”
Quando esta boa ordem é respeitada, aqueles que dão são retribuídos pelos bons frutos do que cederam. E os que receberam ficam livres para passar isso adiante. Dessa forma a vida flui, em direção ao mais.
Ainda que exista a precedência entre os irmãos, saibamos que não há diferença de valor entre irmãos para o sistema, ou seja, existe uma equivalência de importância entre ambos.
Ao resgatar a história bíblica sobre irmãos, verifica-se que o cenário relacional entre eles é desafiador, por exemplo José foi vendido pelos irmãos, o homicídio envolvendo Caim e Abel e por assim vai.
Na visão da psicoterapia, a relação dos irmãos trata-se de um preparo muito importante para a vida e convivência em sociedade, pois é nessa relação que se aprende a compartilhar, ceder, confrontar etc.
Segue abaixo um Poema, que emergiu quando estava estudando este assunto.
Como pode ser
Feitos da mesma forma
Criados com amor similar
Vivendo a alegria e a dor
Como pode ser
São diferentes
Mas quando se encontram
Ou mesmo de longe ainda são irmãos”
Não importa o que venha na vida são irmãos
Irmãos são feitos assim.
Irmãos podem ser conforto, apoio, amizade, amor, ódio, conflitos, aprendizados vários; que nos preparam para a vida!
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